


The Misunderstandings that Bring Us Closer

by ARWalsh



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Lyrium is a nasty thing, Misunderstandings, The Inquisitor is an overprotective mama bear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 13:13:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7362748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ARWalsh/pseuds/ARWalsh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clara learns about Cullen's struggle with Lyrium in the oddest way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Misunderstandings that Bring Us Closer

            Clara was rarely surprised by anything anymore. Until Inquisitor Talia hunted her down and cornered her in the garden. It was her one day off in god knows how long and she had been enjoying the quiet. Then the angry little red head came charging at her. There was unmistakable anger in the Qunari woman’s eyes.

            “Inquisitor?” Clara sputtered as Talia shoved her into the wall. There was a dagger at the woman’s waist. Clara was very aware of the dagger.

            “Clara can you explain to me why Commander Cullen just showed up to a war meeting with a black eye and was unable to look me in the eye for at least an hour?” Talia snarled. This was not the first time Clara was scared of Talia and nor did she believe it was going to be the last.

            “No Ma’am,” Clara stuttered in surprise, “I didn’t see him at all yesterday or today for that matter. He wanted to be left alone.” Talia, seemingly embarrassed, dropped her grip on Clara. The Inquisitor ducked her head and sighed.

            “I apologize Clara,” Talia uttered before turning on her heel and exiting the garden.

            Making her way to Cullen’s office, Clara took a deep breath before entering. Cullen was standing at his bookshelf, back to her. When he heard her enter, Cullen turned. Clara gasped and closed the distance between them. Gripping Cullen’s chin, she forced him to look at her. The bruise was black and purple and was contained mostly to his cheekbone.

            “Andraste’s ass Cullen what happened?” She asked, tilting his head. Batting her hand away, Cullen straightened his back.

            “It’s nothing Clara, first Talia now you.” He ran a hand through his hair and looked to the figurative heavens. Clara once again crowded into his space. The bruise was clearly made by something angular. She also noticed that the bags under his eyes were getting darker and that his hands shook a little more violently. Was he sick?

            “The Inquisitor pinned me against a wall in the garden and practically accused me of hitting you.” Cullen’s head snapped up at that.

            “She did what?” The anger in his voice was unmistakable. Clara tapped his chest with her index and middle finger lightly. Her face pinched into a tight scowl.

            “She was furious Cullen and worried. Right now she appears to be on a crusade to find out what happened.” Clara spoke angrily. Cullen sighed once more and looked down at her.

            “It was a during training, one of the recruits clipped me with his shield, much like what happened with you. It was not a big deal,” Cullen explained. She was not sure if he was lying or not. “Now please, I have work I need to get done.”

            Sitting in the tavern, two realizations hit Clara at once. The first was that whatever had actually happened, Cullen was ashamed of it. The second was that she’d seen those shaking hands and dark circles before. Talia’s brother, Xander, had similar symptoms. Luckily for her, Xander was sat two tables down talking to another Templar. Standing she made her way over and sat down on the bench across from him. The younger Templar looked a little scared.

            “Why do your hands shake?” She asked, both Templars froze. Xander’s jaw dropped slightly and the younger man darted from the table. The man before her studied her with an analytical gaze.

            “You don’t have much tact do you?” He questioned. Clara rolled her eyes and placed her palms on the table.

            “No I do not,” She replied, “Why do your hands shake and why do you look like a walking corpse most days?” Her voice was quiet as always but her words harsh. Clara felt a little guilty but then she remembered why she was asking in the first place.

            “I stopped taking Lyrium, if you must know,” He explained, “I am going through withdrawals, it can make me very sick.” He set down his pint. Realization dawned on both of their faces. She now understood Cullen’s situation. Xander realized he had just outed his commander. Clara deflated slowly and ran a hand through her unruly hair. Eyes wide, she looked over Xander.

            “Oh, I am so sorry. Forgive my behavior.” She squeaked out. Xander eyed her cautiously.

            “Is Commander Cullen having symptoms?” He asked cautiously. Quietly, Clara nodded and folded her hands in her lap. Xander took a long drink from his glass, considering his words.

            “Lyrium makes us stronger, but when we are off of it there are some horrid symptoms. Can you tell me what you’ve noticed?” He asked. Clara looked down at her hands. How could she be so stupid?

            “He sometimes has trouble sleeping, and gets night sweats. Today his hands were shaking so badly I don’t think he could hold a sword if he wanted to,” She answered, her eyes still on her hands. How could she have yelled at him like that?

            “Those are minor luckily. It can progress depending on the person. We have seen some have seizures, hallucinations, and bouts psychosis at worst. I don’t want to scare you but you need to know.” Xander explained, almost clinical.

            “Does it make you bruise easily?” She asked. Xander nodded and took another drink.

            “It can, Lyrium withdrawals weaken the immune system and the body as a whole.” Xander placed a large hand on her shoulder. Clara looked up at the kind hearted man.

            “You should talk to him, carefully,” He added quickly, “See if you can help, provide comfort.” He settled further into his seat.

            “What if he doesn’t let me?” She asked him. Xander gave a kind smile and squeezed her shoulder.

            “Then you do your best to love him anyway that you can. It is easier when you have someone rooting for you.”

            “Thank you Xander,” She said genuinely, “And I am sorry about before,” she apologized.  Xander waved a hand dismissing her discomfort.

            “I learned from living with two strong willed sisters and terrifying mother to never get between a woman and the information she needs about the one she loves,” Xander laughed.

            Clara paced in front of Cullen’s office for at least an hour. Guards and soldiers were giving her odd looks. When she finally worked up the courage to enter, she did so in the worst possible way. Her hand turned the knob and she stepped in; her left foot hitting the ground perfectly was made obsolete but her right one catching on the edge of the rug. She spilled onto the floor. Cullen managed to simply snort as he helped her back onto her feet.

            “Couldn’t stay away could you,” She detected the sour tone. Dusting herself off she stood as straightly as possible. Nervous to bring up Lyrium, she fidgeted with the pendant around her neck.

            “Cullen, I-” she trailed off, “I spoke to Xander Trevelyan on a hunch earlier and he explained that you are experiencing Lyrium withdrawals?” She attempted to phrase it like a question. The defensiveness in Cullen’s body tightened even more. “I am just worried and I know that I likely overstepped but Cullen I love you. Just let me know if I can help in any way,” She blurted out in an intense version of word vomit. Cullen blinked and then all the muscles in his body relaxed.

            “I sometimes forget how clever you are,” He said, brushing his fingers across her cheek. “And I should have told you a long time ago about all of this. But until now it has been a struggle I have shared with very few people.”  Cullen allowed himself a moment of pause. Clara reached up and entwined his fingers with hers. She wanted him to feel comforted, to know he wouldn’t be judged.

            “Cullen, you don’t have to tell me anything. I just want you to know I am here for you.” Clara ran her fingers through his curls. Addiction was a nasty thing, she didn’t want him suffering alone.

            “Thank you Clara,” He whispered.

            Somehow she coaxed him into bed early that day. The light cotton of the sheets was calling to both of them. Clara eased into bed and lifted the covers for Cullen. Gently he rolled her on top of him. His long fingers traced invisible patterns over her spine. He was deep in thought but she was just enjoying the sensation.

            “You are magnificent Clara,” Cullen murmured, eyes raking her body. Tucking her chin to her chest she gave a sheepish smile. She would never grow used to the compliments he gave her. The two of them ran their hands over each other’s bodies. It was exploratory and a cautious. Clara was touching Cullen with a renewed caution, she was afraid to cause him pain. He was looking at her like she gave him life. They were interrupted by a loud bang and the heavy footfalls in the office below.

            “Cullen?” Cassandra’s voice echoed, “Are you here?” The determination in her voice was obvious. Groaning Cullen turned his head and looked at the hatch to his office.

            “I will be right down Cassandra, just give me a moment.” He carted a hand through his hair.

            Clara stayed in Cullen’s bed, arm covering her eyes. She listened to her partner and Cassandra speak in low hushed tones. It was soothing to know how much the older woman cared for him. As she understood it, the two had fought for the Inquisition before it was fully formed. Without the two of them, she wouldn’t be where she was today. She admired the older woman’s strength in battle and her sense of self. After a little time had passed, Cullen reappeared in his bedroom. A sheepish and slightly dazed look dotted his handsome face.

            “What was that all about?” Clara sat up. Cullen rubbed the back of his neck, a habit Clara found adorable.

            “Well…” Cullen trailed off, “My female friends are apparently concerned I am in an abusive relationship,” He chuckled. Clara was horrified, what must the Inquisitor think.

            “And?” She squeaked. Cullen burst into a fit of laughter, his face lightning.

            “I set her straight, don’t worry.” He leaned over and pressed a kiss to Clara’s temple.

            “Well thank god for that!”

**Author's Note:**

> I love Cullen, he is precious and was my first love in Inquisition. All I want is for him to be happy.  
> Love hearing from you guys!  
> XOXO,  
> Abbey


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